In the pursuit of personal growth, I used to believe that positivity was the ultimate goal. For years, I embraced the “stay positive” mantra, often suppressing my negative emotions in favor of focusing only on what I aspired to feel. I believed that if I simply resisted negative emotions, they would fade away. But instead, they persisted, lurking beneath the surface. It wasn’t until I reframed my perspective—viewing these emotions as signals rather than setbacks—that I began to truly grow. “What we resist, persists,” a phrase often attributed to psychologist Carl Jung, became a guiding principle on my journey. I realized that negative emotions were calling me to pay attention, to understand, to heal, and to take action.

In the words of Rumi, “The wound is the place where the light enters you.” Through this lens, I began to see my emotions as opportunities for transformation. Rather than suppressing these signals, I started to honor them as powerful messengers urging me toward self-discovery, compassion, and ultimately, healing.

Here, I want to share this path with you, with the hope that you might also find growth and peace by embracing your full range of emotions.

When negative emotions first surface, our instinct is often to push them away, perhaps out of fear, shame, or discomfort. But these feelings are not our enemies; they are indicators that something in our lives needs attention. Whether it’s anger, sadness, jealousy, or anxiety, each emotion arises for a reason. Resisting these emotions only intensifies them, but by acknowledging them, we begin to understand the underlying causes and can start to address them in healthy ways.

For me, this realization came during a particularly challenging period. I had been ignoring feelings of resentment and frustration, believing that focusing on positivity would resolve them. But as I continued to push these emotions aside, they grew stronger, affecting both my mental and physical health. I realized that my emotional suppression was a barrier to genuine growth. I needed to listen to these signals, to feel the emotions fully, and to reflect on what they were trying to reveal.

As I leaned into this process, I discovered that emotions, even the painful ones, have profound wisdom. They often point to unmet needs, unresolved past experiences, or areas in which we need to set boundaries. By taking the time to feel and process these emotions, I was able to reconnect with myself. Instead of judging my anger, for example, I allowed myself to experience it, trace its roots, and see it as a signal that something needed change. I understood, finally, that emotions do not define us but rather guide us toward growth and healing.

“Feelings are just visitors; let them come and go,” wrote the Buddhist teacher Mooji. This wisdom guided me as I developed a practice of self-compassion, making space for every emotion, positive or negative. With this new mindset, I could approach myself with forgiveness, compassion, and love, acknowledging that growth isn’t linear but a process of healing and self-discovery. Each negative emotion became a step toward self-love, resilience, and strength.

So dear soul, if you are on a journey of personal growth, remember that negative emotions are not obstacles but signposts, guiding you to what needs healing within. Emotions are a natural part of being human, each one offering insights if we’re willing to listen. Instead of shunning negative emotions, allow yourself to feel them, connect to their root cause, and take constructive action.

In this journey, forgiveness, compassion, and self-love are invaluable companions. Embrace each emotion with kindness, recognizing it as part of your unique path to wholeness. As Rumi reminds us, “You have to keep breaking your heart until it opens.” Let your negative emotions open your heart to healing and growth.

Next time a negative emotion surfaces, pause and sit with it. Allow yourself to feel, to understand, and then to take one small step toward what the emotion is calling you to address. Perhaps it’s setting a boundary, letting go of an old grudge, or simply practicing self-kindness. Embrace each emotion as a messenger guiding you toward a more compassionate, empowered self. Healing begins the moment we honor our emotions, and each step you take brings you closer to the person you aspire to be.

Félicité Haguma